Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing

Elbert Hubbard

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Getting Into the Motion

Finally pulled the trigger on a race weekend. Of course my most favorite race weekend to hate. Never feel that I'm ready for it. Love to race it. Loath to race it. Such a mix bag of emotions wrapped up in one package. The package of two wheels going up more than it seems going down. Never my best strength. Really my best weakness. Although I made an attempt to try to get on top of it. (yes pun intended)

Truth be known, if I would have received the text one day earlier I would be sitting in a suite Friday night rocking out to Tool. I'm a sad, pathetic bike geek. Missing out on one badass rock concert to race for the weekend. Weak sauce. Very weak sauce.
I know I'm going hate myself for missing this concert to race. I know it.
I guess I will look at this blog, then remind myself what weak sauce I've become.
Sad, pathetic, loser of a bike geek. IM NOT LIKING MY DECISION ALREADY!

Bad thing is that I wanted to use this weekend as measuring tool to build upon for the following race I planned on hitting. The only thing stopping that is the fact that our fence needs to be worked on now. Unfortunately the schedule of the man isn't very open for me. One full weekend a month til CX season. That puts the bullet square on 4th July weekend. I hate my _______!

Really have the feeling of plenty of base. Just no top end. What's sad is you need ALL top end this weekend. At least I know I have an awesome beer in the fridge to rinse the pain, bitterness, and loathing. Rinse & repeat. Rinse & repeat.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

my wife inc Application/Questionnaire for Marriage

Cycling Videos on CyclingDirt

Not quite sure what sparked this conversation/e-mail but it's a hot topic on our team mail.

A application for marriage is the idea floating so I have permission for implementing a perfect marriage agreement:

First the questionnaire:
mwi marriage questionnaire part I
1 Are you equipped for a marriage? 0-5
2 Have you ever been married? 0-10
3 Have you ever previously rated your
abilities for marriage? 0-3
4 Have you taken any courses/special training
or educational seminars that will help you in marriage? 0-5
5. Have you read any books about marriage? 0-3
6. Have you talked with friends who are married? 0-3
7. Has anyone in your family been married? Have you
spoken with them about marriage? 0-7

Average score on these seven questions, on a sampling of several hundred potential brides, was 26 out of 36.

Part II
1 Is your idea of marriage original? Does it have
significant merit or is it a new package for an old idea? 0-7
2 Is it your marriage? Will be able to generate
extensions of this marriage 0-3
3 How difficult would it be for someone else to have
this marriage? 0-5
4. Have you checked to see if someone else to have the
same marriage? 0-10
5. Have you checked to see if other couples exist who
produce the same marriage? 0-4
6. Have you checked the Wedding Register to see if
marriage is offered? 0-5
7. Have you discussed or disclosed your marriage to an
expert in the area in which you offer your marriage? 0-3
8. Have you talked with investigators about
your marriage? 0-3
9. Have you analyzed the recent porn trends
in marriage? 0-5
10. Is there a single large successful suitor? 0-10
12. Have you attempted to obtain sales, commitments
or letters of intent from potential suitors? 0-15

The average score on these 12 questions, on a sampling of several hundred potential marriages, was 60 out of a possible 70.

Part III

1. Have you saved enough money to start a marriage? 0-15
2. Do you know how much money you'll need to
start a marriage? 0-10
3. How much of your money can you put toward the
marriage versus how much money is needed? Do you
need a partner to supply money? 0-15
4. Do you know what the sex volume is necessary to
break even? 0-7
5. Will it take less than three years before your
marriage reaches the break even sex volume? 0-10
6. Do you know the terms of payment in
your marriage 0-5
7. What are the normal terms for sex in
your marriage? 0-3
8. Are you aware of money sources that will help
finance your marriage in the event you exhaust
your partner? 0-4
9. Have you talked to a bartender about your plans
for a new marriage? 0-3
10. Have you talked to your lawyer about your plans
for a new marriage? 0-3
11. Have you talked with your pimp about your plans
for a new marriage? 0-3
12. Have you found a good home for your marriage? 0-10
13. Does the location provide for S&M possibilities? 0-5
14. Will the new location require extensive improvements
for S&M cave? 0-5
15. Have you examined the trade off of buying sex
instead marriage? 0-5
16. Is the location convenient for for parking, buses,
and for people to get to work afterwards? 0-5
17. Have you checked the zone/pay off requirements? 0-3
18. Did you evaluate several locations? 0-3
19. have you made a scaled layout of your S&M cave
to study sex flow or customer viewing? 0-7
20. Are you a good manager of cash money? 0-15

The average score on the above questions is 111 out of 136.

If you averaged all the scores together and your in the ballpark you will be considered for potential review in person among a group of your peers. Video camera's will be provided along with still shoots for the entire interview/couch session.
Thank you for participating and looking for to seeing you in person,

Love Thy Neighbor Til...

the dumbass does this..

causing this....

then *&%$ thy neighbor

Friday, June 4, 2010